Do Kids Make You Smile?

My answer: YES.


I got home from work today with a craving to walk around the reservoir (I love that I crave it). My pace was quick; not quite yet a run. Thoughts of sameness kept entering my mind. Because one of my goals in every day life is to not give in to habitual patterns - when boredom may begin - I thought about running to change things up a bit. I couldn't get myself to start even a jog (I think it is because I know that once I start, I am going to love it and wonder why I haven't been doing this all along...and, I also think, I like the feeling of knowing that I want it - while still having a bit of doubt that I can actually do it, because then I know i can succeed...) Anyway...

In my fast-paced walking, with a mediocre attitude of making my walks a habit, I noticed a few people running by wearing the same shirt. It read on the back: I am... (and I could not get the last part -- a name of some sort -- it's irrelevant even so.) I saw a few more people run by, with the same shirts, but this time they seemed a little younger (maybe early high school). I figured it was some kind of after school sport, or race, i don't know... A few minutes later, as I am nearing the end of my route, I hear lighter footsteps from behind - I knew it had to be a child; only because kids are natural runners, as their bodies sit on their feet with perfect posture, and their legs glide through the air...if you listen closely, you can always tell when a child is running. The child's footsteps got closer. As soon as he passed me, I noticed he had on the same shirt - it must have been some kind of group. Somehow, at the moment I saw the child's face, I felt mine light up with a smile. At first, I wasn't sure if it was because I heard him speaking Spanish (and we all know I am a sucker for foreign languages) or if it was because he paused for a moment beside me, and we were walking at the same pace. But, something about being in the presence of a child made my negative thoughts disappear.

This incident - with all of its details - took place in a matter of minutes, seconds even. I thought about how I am no longer surrounded by kids every day, as I was when I was teaching (not even in the summer, when I was a nanny). I can't help but wonder how my students effected my smile-ability when I was teaching...because, when I look back on my days in the classroom, I first think of the love and devotion I had to my students. Secondly, (but, sometimes first mentioned when talking about it in conversation) I think of how drained I was at the end of every day, and how I felt such a void; something I was never able to pinpoint until I ended my career (maybe paused) as a teacher.

However, if this one runner - whom I came into contact with for less than a minute, and didn't say a word to, was able to generate a smile (great enough for me to notice), who's to say how often I smiled as a teacher?

Looking back, my students always told me that I smiled a lot; more than usual. I never thought twice about it, because I have always considered myself a "smiler". I also remember being told, in my teacher-training-days, not to smile for the first few months of school. I knew there was no way that was going to work for me (and why would I want to greet another human being with a frown?). I smiled before I even saw my students the first day -- I don't think I STOPPED smiling the first day.


So, why all of this? ...I have realized how the people I interact with on a daily basis have gone from kids to adults, without a gradual progression either way. I used to spend my entire day with students - and now I spend it with teachers. The only effects I could feel were the sighs of relief from not being so stressed out and feeling like a failure every day. I just wonder: how many more smiles would I have in a day if I were still surrounded by kids?

Modern Chic

Last weekend, I decided to paint my dining room table and chairs. I got the idea from some home decor magazine (I have lately become obsessed with those), and decided to try it out!

Personally, I think it looks wonderful :) It's exactly how I wanted it to turn out: a little rough around the edges to look warn, yet trendy, and colors that are enough to make you notice a difference, but not to freak you out...


Here goes...

A Runner?

I have been known to say that I'm not a runner; I just don't like running. I think it goes back to gym class in elementary school when I was the slowest one to run the mile. Or the times when I would push myself to run so fast, and my lungs would feel like they were burning. For those reasons, I have decided to not take up running as a preferred mode of exercise.



...with that aside: I have been taking morning/evening walks around the reservoir in Central Park. There is an entrance to the park just around the corner from my apartment (very convenient). I am usually only on of the few people walking while the rest run, jog, or attempt to run or jog on the other side of me. With so many people passing me - and with nothing else to do - I have noticed myself criticizing the way other people run, and think to myself "I want to run like him", or "she needs to pick up her feet", or "he needs to stop running". Then again, who am I to judge? To each his/her own. But, it is not entirely only judgement, because by the time I get halfway around the track, I feel within me the urge to start running. I have never had that feeling before (maybe I have had the need to exert energy in another way - but never running).

So, I have decided this: I will continue to walk around the reservoir for another week or so. Then, I am going to try running. I will let you know how it goes...

Summer in the CIty

It is only fitting that I moved less than a block from Central Park (on the Upper West Side) just in time for my first summer in the City. I have the opportunity to take morning walks, be closer in proximity to my friends (who - almost - all live on the UWS), sunbathe/relax on my roof deck, stroll up and down the avenues filled with great restaurants, ...shall I go on?

I feel so lucky to be living where I live. Making the new move has caused me to reflect on my past living situations: all of which we a perfect fit, at the time. The past few months living in my last apartment (the studio - I lived alone), and as I realized that I would actually be moving (not just thinking about it), I began to realize how lonely I felt living alone. Like I said, at the time when I first moved into that apartment, it was just what I needed - I was SO excited to live alone and have my own space. Then the time came, when I just didn't want that space anymore - I wanted people around me, all the time. A lot of those feelings I am sure had to do with the location of my apartment (Washington Heights), where only a few of my friends live, and the only other people I had contact with were the local grocer and Starbucks employees. Not to say that I did not enjoy our occasional conversations, but I couldn't have asked them over for dinner. Or could i have? I also think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I work at home. Living alone and working alone, are not the best mix for a girl who loves to be around people!

I am not saying that I did not enjoy my past living situations, because I have... However, this one feels different. I also don't want you to question my feels as being "materialistic" and thinking "c'mon, she is talking about an apartment, how much happiness can that really bring her???"...I recently read somewhere (probably a home decor magazine, that the home is the most important place where you will spend your time. I do believe that our living conditions heavily impact the way we approach every day - even if it just means bigger windows to bring in more light.

Every day, I feel so lucky to be living where I do, and surrounded by the people I want to spend time with. I can now have them all over for dinner, cook lavish meals, and entertain them all! If I am this excited about my current apartment, I can not even begin to imagine how ecstatic I will be about the next one!