the land of milk and honey (and bread on pesach)

My sister stacie and I just returned from a weekend in Israel...it was absolutely PERFECT and AMAZING - thanks to our wonderful host, Hila. Even though we were only there for 3 days, we got to see all of our friends (at least once), go shopping :) , visit the old city in Jeruslaem, and party in tel-aviv, and eat bread during Passover -- it may have been the first time that I deliberately broke passover's "rule" to eat only matzoh. But, what was more surprising was that we could find bread in most restaurants in Israel! Before we got there, we assumed that everyone would not be eating bread - it was absolutely not the case. It is a Jewish state, but what i realized is that, in the past, my not eating bread was a way for me to FEEL Jewish (also because of religous tradition, but coinciding with the feeling) -- however, maybe in Israel, everyone already has other ways to FEEL Jewish, because they are surrounded by it every day, all day, it is what they breathe.

There are Israelis who do keep passover (of course), but while i was noticing the differences in eating bread vs. matzoh, within the Israeli culture, and at the same time considering my inner desire to want to live in Israel for a portion of my life - I kept wondering if I would rather "breathe" Judaism and not have to worry about doing anything to make me FEEL jewish, or if i would rather want to go out of my way and search for the FEELing of being Jewish (while being somewhere other than Israel). On one hand, it is a battle between being secular or religous. At another angle, it is being Jewish Israeli or Jewish American (or any other nationality).

THEN, i think to myself - if i really did live in israel for a long period of time, could i really let go of all of the religous traditions and ways of life? I know that many israelis are religous, and/or follow the traditions, but would i be tempted not to? Would everything that i now do in my life be wiped away?

I am not one to want to "dwell" in the future (if i can use that expression) - or worry about what will happen. However, it was an interesting thing for me to think about. And at the end of the day, i realize: In Israel, or anywhere else, I am Jewish - I want to BE Jewish, and that means doing, being, and FEELing Jewish no matter where I am. I want to breathe Jewish, but i also want to do Jewish (i think i am starting to start like a Hillel slogan)...I want to eat matzoh on pesach, i want to light the candles and bless the wine and challah on shabbat, i want to do all of those things. And perhaps it is OK that i "lost" my need to feel jewish for the moments that i was eating bread on passover, in Israel. because i realize now that it is important to me